I want my time to be respected and I want to respect my time. I want to learn to say “No” and be more mindful to what I agree to so that my “Yes” has value.
I want to consume less and create more. I want to purchase less stuff and accumulate more experiences.
Learning to streamline my personal space and words, living more intentionally so that each item in my home has purpose and a place – less clutter; being more selective with outside influences and how much time I dedicate to them has been one of the most difficult yet rewarding talks I’ve had to have with myself. In my experience, it is very often the people whom we love the most who do not really pay attention to be mindful of the time we give and make for them and it frequently becomes something that is taken for granted. However, no one can do to us what we do not allow (under normal and humane circumstances); it is with this realization and after sitting through yet another meet up in which the other person glanced at their phone and answered yet another call for the so manyth time, that the “I can’t do this anymore” feeling washed over me and refused to leave no matter what excuses I made. This mindset just continued to gain momentum right into things I own: more than half the clothes in my closet I do not wear, the very expensive Louis Vuitton bag that would have cost an air ticket to a magical experience, is no longer the object of desire; my fridge fridge needs clearing too often because it was filled to the brim barely able to accommodate all the food my stomach cannot possibly hold and all because I said “yes” without discernment.
There is something about excess that breeds a certain kind of contempt, lack of respect, sometimes even chaos. We’ve been indoctrinated with the notion that excess means wealth but I am beginning to wonder if this is the case, why are western cultures in general, less happy. Why is a baby happier playing in the mud than with yet another toy. Why, despite having more do we want more; why do I feel happier naked in a stream than eating at a fancy restaurant. Why is creativity becoming so hard when it should flow. I think it’s because we are saturated and over stimulated we say yes to too much and want to cram everything into our lives never really being here or there but mostly everywhere.
It’s as if we have put our time on sale and everybody and everything now has access to it. I feel it’s because our “yes” is no longer selective or special. Quiet moments, uncluttered lives, less visual stimulation, information overload – more “no” and less yes.
I understand now why we have to seek to find … I think because it makes things so much more special, cherished and valuable.