Most of us were not raised with mainly fresh food; I see babies all the time munching on chips, bread and fed sweetened juices and store bought baby food. Before I understood a bit more about how important a role nutrition plays in our lives, this all seemed perfectly normal. Unknowingly as parents, what we feed our angel babies, is the start to their bodies being conditioned for poor nutrition. Even after 5 years of eating mostly fresh, uncooked, natural food, I still battle cravings and often, the cravings win but because I have experienced how life changing eating fresh food can be, I’ll always strive to live a fruit and vegetable, mostly uncooked lifestyle. Today’s lunch was a beautiful portobello mushroom filled with fresh greens and a home made, plant based sauce. There are thousands of recipes on the internet under “raw vegan burger” etc.; I just wanted to show how beautiful and tasty eating healthy can be.
Recently I listened to a documentary on Marilyn Monroe; one of the comments that came through repeatedly was that she had a huge amount of self doubt, did not trust her judgement and mostly relied on the opinions of others which of course led to a potluck of emosions and her running to and fro never sure who she was because she was so busy heeding others. Of course, beautiful Marilyn is no longer here and we cannot truly know this was really how she was – it’s after all, once again, just the opinions of others who claim to have known her.
I had a very caring and loving Mum she was, however, extremely dominating. From choosing clothes, boyfriends etc. to going out, those were decisions at the age of 23, I was not allowed to make, when I did and they were wrong all hell broke loose. I felt inadequate, numb – not able to trust my choices so I let others do it for me assuming that I would be wrong anyway. There is such a danger in that. The inner compass gets lost and one never learns to trust yourself. Yes, that does entail making mistakes, taking responsibility and not expecting others to clean up after you. I’ve painfully discovered that making wrong decisions is part of life and a very essential ingredient to personal growth. There have been times when I’ve hesitated, fearful of risk, failure or moving forward – it equated to nothing but stagnation. Sometimes, someone else came along and stole my idea because I hesitated too long and that is particularly frustrating. Whether it’s being creative, a business venture, a relationship of course, be smart, listen to a very selective few who are knowledgeable that’s vital but never lose the ability to hear your own voice, know your own passion, feel your own heart beat. It takes time and self training and improves when one starts to declutter people, stuff, too many opinions and move away from the noise.
Rain falling on my lashes down my pomegranate cheeks, slipping into my clothes and wondering to places of which I may not speak.
Thank you so much Ted Vieira for the mention in a recent podcast. It was beautiful to see you in action and catch some of the creative sparkle that always surrounds you.
I observed these absolutely stunning animals; a pregnant zebra standing by itself and a majestic lion quietly turning its head to the morning sun somehow sensing that it was destined for something far greater. Although in prison they still carry themselves with dignity.
Mum loved flowers and passed on that love to me. She left way too young many years ago. This year in her memory, I bought these flowers to dedicate a photograph to her.
It’s been just over one week of me being on a juice cleanse. I feel it’s always important to mention that I make my own, freshly squeezed juices which consist mainly of greens and some fruit such as one or two apples for sweetener or a bit of pineapple etc., strained for a nice smoothness. I do not trust store bought juices not even those in vegan food stores or juice shops. I’ve seen how they take apple juice for example from a box (processed) and add it to the greens, basically making a joke out of the whole point of the matter. So, I do my own juices, however, there are a few really great places here in Vienna (and maybe you have near you too) that do the real thing right before your eyes and that’s fine too.
The first two days of the juice cleanse were fine; I had a slight longing for coffee but it was more or less under control and I could work with no problem in the office. I have read many accounts of how one should stay at home in bed etc. but I prefer to be at work because it takes my mind off food and the day goes by much faster. The beauty of a juice cleanse is that I am not in a state of hunger because I can drink as much juice as I want as long as it is not filled with too much fruit and consists mainly of greens. On the third and fourth day it started hitting me. The coffee and sugar cravings got worse (still no hunger pangs just cravings for coffee) and a slightly light headed tired feeling. I started feeling a bit cold (I am not a cold person) and longed for something warm so I listened to my body but retuned it with green tea instead of the usual black tea with milk and sugar. (I love sugar).
On Saturday it happened. I had a huge green juice which was absolutely delicious so I was completely satiated with not a trace of hunger to be felt anywhere. Everything I felt only had to do with cravings. Let it please not be said that I starve myself or that my body lacked minerals and vitamins or protein. Greens uncooked, have so much protein, minerals and vitamins! More than we need in a day. But the cravings. Before I knew it, Pia stuffed a banana in my mouth – I’m lying. I ate a banana. I longed for that chewy feeling, I missed the full feeling in my stomach and the heaviness of something other than juice. Disappointed in myself but not defeated I continued Saturday after banana-gate with cleansing and feeding my body juice.
Sunday. Oh Sunday. I sinned and this is my confession. After kick boxing class I met with a friend to go over some creative work at a restaurant. The waiter came round to take our order – on the tip of my tongue the words “lemon water please” were poised but I hesitated for a split second; it was a kind of slow motion moment; I became aware of the rain outside, the table across me and its laughing occupants, a waitress passing by with plates and foods that felt so familiar to me – soul ties, memories of my Mum’s kitchen, memories of how good it felt after a heart break to eat. Just eat. After the second coffee, things just went downhill.
In the past, when I let myself down like this I would throw in the towel and give up. Ive spoken so many words of “I can’t do this” “I’m a failure” “this is impossible anyways” over my life that I really started to believe it. I’ve gotten a bit smarter though and learned that the most successful people are those who failed probably more times than we could ever imagine but they have one characteristic that those who give up do not have: they get up and try again and again and again until … lift off. We have a lift off.
There have been some clear detox signs though: slight head-ache; listlessness (on the third day), deep sleep (that was the beautiful part) and on day number 8, the sugar cravings subsided just a bit. Just a bit. My whole body ached and my bones were so sore as if I’d done a very strenuous work-out but this did not deter me because I knew exactly what to do and this is a juice recommendation for stiff joints, for inflammation of the muscles after a work-out etc., it’s the magic of curcuma (turmeric):
– I juiced 4 oranges, 2 small thumb sized curcuma, a big thumb sized fresh ginger, 4 celery sticks, one whole cucumber for two days.
Curcuma or turmeric as it is also known, is very healing for joints; after the second day of drinking the above mentioned juice at least once a day (in addition to the other green juices), the joint stiffness had completely disappeared as I knew it would. I shall continue to document my 100 percent green juice cleanse and am still waiting for “stuff” to come out of my body as has been told by very credible people. I feel so at peace, content and happy; this is what juices do, they are natures happy pills. Very important, drink a lot of water. I made the mistake the first week to think that because I was drinking so much juice that water is not necessary, however, it is very important to continue to drink alot of water. Wish me luck.